As women with moxie, we have so many things in common. We also have some common hurdles.
I recently discovered one hurdle that most of us have. This hurdle undermines our own abilities, and keeps us trapped thinking and playing it small.
It is how we use our own simple phrases without realizing we say them.
Several months ago, I found myself frustrated. I was not meeting my own goals and found (again) I was in my own way. Maybe you can relate to similar equally frustrating circumstances. As I thought about the various reasons for this, I began to recognize my habit of using certain phrases as the cause!
I was holding myself back – and it all came down to how I spoke.
With my sights set on blasting this hurdle from my life, I set out to make changes.
Immediately I began to pay attention to the wording of my intentions. This practice has had a great impact on many areas of my life.
Are you ready to make changes?
The 6 things women with moxie don’t say.
- “I’ll try to…” Let’s face it, how often have any of us actually accomplished what we “try to”. That goal (and we have many don’t we?) goes to the bottom of the priority list and then we later somehow justify not having accomplished it, leaving a feeling of disappointment from others or with ourselves. Example – “I’ll try to get to the gym this week.” (Yea, that’s likely..not!)
- “I wish I...” This is my personal nemesis phrase. Stop “wishing”. Wishing is for birthday cakes and fairy dust. Nothing will change with a wish or a dream. Since I’ve stopped “wishing” so much, I’ve accomplished so much more because I take action. I was waiting and wishing – to learn more, be more, do more. I was waiting for something or someone to give me permission, so I would bide my time dreaming of what it would be like when… Guess what, I am not the women I was wishing I was like – I am ME. I was living in a cloud of wishing fairy dust. Example – “I wish I was like her – she’s so good about going to the gym.”. Then go. Make the decision TO be better and go.
- “I want to”..” Kind of like a wish, however it is more of a goal-setting phrase if you follow it with a definitive word or phrase WITHOUT the word “but”. Example – “I want to go to the gym tomorrow.” Ok, so set the alarm, get up and go…do not add ‘but I’m not a morning person’ that’s bunk.
- “I tried…”. That’s usually code for “I didn’t really but like to think I did”. When my personal trainer is holding me accountable to my health and weight goals, she asks how much I worked out between our sessions. So the answer of “I tried to go 4 times but….”. No more “but’s” or “because’s” – I just confess, I only worked out twice. No excuses – I made the choice to not go the other days for some (usually lame) excuse. Example “I tried to go to the gym four times, but it was like my bed had arms and wouldn’t let me go”. I made the conscious decision to not work toward my goal – because I decided to sleep and not make another time to go – I pay the ultimate price because it will take longer to achieve my goal.
- “I think”. You think or do you know? This is something used in a variety of ways and usually leads back to #1 above – a non-committal, wimpy phrase or #2 a cloud of fairy dust. Example: “I think I’ll go to the gym 4 times this week”. Either I will or I won’t. Plan it, put it on the calendar and go, or say “no I won’t”.
- “I can’t”. To this I say – oh yes you can, you are just choosing not to! This was the first phrase I became aware of and bothers me the most. There is always a way that we “can”. That phrase is almost always followed by the word because and an excuse. As women with serious moxie – we can. Just decide and commit to making it happen. If it’s not important, then simply say ‘no’ or ‘not now’ and move on with no regrets, no whining and no excuses. Example “I can’t go to the gym 4 times because I can’t get up that early”. Truth is – I could go that early, I set the alarm, fight the thoughts of the cozy blankets, and go. So really, we can do anything, or we can choose not to. But no one is stopping you from anything you want to do – you can always find a way.
So, as bold, passionate women with serious moxie... replace wimpy phrases with “I will…”. Show your confidence and passion to follow through and to get out of your own way! You will discover how your thoughts will flow to make anything happen. You will discover great progress toward your goals, desires and dreams. You will find it simpler to check off your to-do list and keep commitments to yourself and others. You will also see how fast you are no longer standing in your own way!
Pearl of Moxie: Women with serious moxie replace wimpy phrases with “I will…”.
I challenge you to be aware of your own wimpy phrases – change them and share how it made the difference in your life!
I would love it if you would share this with other women in your life who have your moxie! Invite them to join the conversation on our Women with Moxie Facebook group!
And if you are ready to discover your own moxie, let’s chat! Schedule your free 30 minute “Discover Your Moxie” Strategy Call!