We’ve been talking about the Saboteur – the ugly cousin to the Imposter.
The Saboteur doesn’t condemn as the imposter does, but she does lead to the Imposter.
She will whisper in your year and lead you into the temptation, often against your will.
She helps you justify not doing what you know you should do.
And you will regret in some way listening to her.
But you will never regret ignoring and quieting her.
Here’s where she shows up, and what I mean by regretting listening to her and why you shouldn’t.
She shows up in your business your finances and your everyday life. These examples may sound a little extreme, but I’m sure you know of a similar scenario.
In your business: The Saboteur is the one that justifies being defensive when a client is unhappy. Rather than listening to the client, keeping positive to disarm the situation, she whispers that “it isn’t your fault, it’s the client’s fault that they didn’t ..” causing the flood of defensiveness.
So rather than serving the client as best you can to correct and calm them, you mirror their attitude and that never ends well.
Later, after you have calmed down enough to think clearly, you regret the circumstances and may even have a new idea – but too late.
The Damage is done, and your unhappy client is now blasting you on social media and telling all their friends.
You are left with a damaged reputation and regret.
In our finances:
You are a bit bored and are Looking for something new to do because you are seeking some inspiration and purpose.
You come across something that you just know will make you feel better and certainly, this new, shiny thing will inspire you because well, it’s new and it’s cool, and you just have to have it!
In the back of your mind, your conscious is telling you it’s way too expensive.
Then the Saboteur starts in…” you deserve it, you’ve been working so hard lately” “it isn’t that much money, wouldn’t that look nice in your living room – You’ll get years of enjoyment out of it because you PROMISE to use it every day… go ahead, you’re getting your tax refund soon anyway.”
So you buy it. Yes, it’s inspiring and beautiful. For the first few days or weeks. Then it’s like everything else in your house that has become commonplace.
And you still have that bill to finish paying off and the regret.
And in our lives:
You overhear someone talking about you. You can’t imagine ANYONE knowing that except your best friend.
Immediately, the saboteur is in your ear. “She told EVERYONE!” “How dare she, she promised never to tell!” “I’m going to get even – I’ll show her!” The saboteur gets your defenses in high gear – the height where you don’t hear any voice of reason or logic or possibilities. And you react. You blast her back, the saboteur gives you all the armor you need and then some to take revenge, ending with “that will teach her to mess with me.”
Again, the Damage is done.
Then you realize that you had posted that very information on your social media. Your friend had kept your secret in honor of your friendship. A ruined friendship and regret.
Each of these scenarios is fairly extreme, but even in the simplest daily routines when we listen in those brief seconds when we aren’t kind, or we find ourselves judging someone to make ourselves feel better, or making the decisions that don’t honor who we are. Those little moments will always lead to regret because it is not who we are.
Think of the simple ways the Saboteur leads you not to do the right thing.
The voice of the saboteur needs to be quiet because it is one of the main reasons we say we “stand in our way.”
I challenge you again this week to notice when the Saboteur is in your year and how you quieted her voice.
If you realize your Saboteur is causing you to stand in your way of what’s next for your life, let me know, this is one of the topics I work with women on overcoming so they can uncover what’s next for their life, career, and business. I’d be happy to chat with you about your Saboteur.
Learn more about The Moxie Sisterhood at Themoxiesisterhood.com